Through It All
by Rosa17
Summary: Short post series story.


Through It all by Rosa17

'And they lived happily ever after,' read Tom and shut the book noticing that Joe had fallen asleep. He kissed him gently on the forehead and tucked him in before lowering the light and tip toeing out the room.

Tom made his way downstairs and fixed himself a coffee whilst filling the dishwasher and generally tidying up the surface area of the kitchen. Taking his drink he walked into the lounge, pausing at a framed picture of a smiling Alex and a younger looking Joe, to caress his eyes over the pair of them fondly. He switched the television on and sat heavily down on the sofa, before randomly flicking through the channels. Deciding there wasn't anything he was interested in; he clicked the remote and turned it off again, picking up a medical journal that was sitting on the coffee table in front of him. He might as well catch up on some reading, he decided, there was nothing else for him to do right at that moment.

Somewhere along the line he had fallen asleep, still sitting upright on the sofa, with his hand propping up his head. He was dreaming and it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable, faces all blurred into one, first it was Alex, then Joanna, then Alex, then Meg and back to Alex again, then he could see a gun and her screaming.

The key turned quietly in the lock of the front door and shut just as silently afterwards. Emma, Joe's nanny slipped off her shoes and padded past the lounge door when she heard Tom mumbling in his sleep and went to see if he was okay.

Suddenly the face turned into Claire and all he could say was, 'No!' Over and over again. He could feel the blood seep out from his chest onto his shirt and hear Will call his name, or at least he thought it was Will, as his tormentous dream ravaged his mind to the very core of his soul.

'Tom, Tom,' she began quietly and then more loudly. 'Tom!' She gently touched him on the arm. His head dropped forward abruptly and he woke suddenly and tried to get his bearings. 'You were talking in your sleep.'

He looked at her and rubbed his eyes and said. 'I was dreaming.'

It was obvious to Emma that it hadn't been a pleasant dream but she was tired and didn't feel like asking him about it. He was her boss and although they got on okay, they were in no way close. Still she asked. 'Are you alright? Want me to make you a tea, coffee?'

'No Emma, I'm fine thank you,' he said looking at her in such as way she knew the conversation was over.

'I'll go to my room then, it's late. Goodnight.'

'Night,' he replied and picked up his mug from the coffee table, where he took a swig of the stone cold liquid before getting up to make a fresh mug.

Tom walked to the window and looked out into the night, it was pitch black, he stood there for a few moments, watching, waiting for a pair of headlights to come down the lane, but nothing did. So he went back to make his drink, glancing at the time as he did so, it was almost midnight and he sighed heavily. He couldn't go to bed, not yet, not alone, not tonight.

He didn't know how long he sat there reliving his memories, but it felt like forever and eventually he began to drift off to sleep once more. Again the front door opened and closed, silently almost as if the person entering had lots of practice of coming home in the small hours of the morning

Tom was sleeping, upright on the sofa again and talking in his sleep, which was not uncommon since the incident and her mouth lifted in a wry grin at the sight of him there.

'Oh no, not today..' he muttered and she grinned some more, pleased that it wasn't a nightmare at least. 'Play football Joe,' he added amid some incoherent ramblings.

She stood and watched him with the soft glow from the lamp falling on his features, part of her didn't want to disturb him but the other part wanted him right next to her, in bed. She sat down carefully on the arm of the sofa, putting her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently and saying. 'Well I was expecting you at least to keep the bed warm for me.'

For the second time that night he woke with a start and this time he groaned before saying. 'What time is it? I thought you were never coming back.'

'After two,' she supplied.

He groaned again and flexed his stiff neck before looking up at her and she moved and sat beside him and he weaved his arm about her shoulders.

'How did it go? Did he die?' He asked.

'Yeah,' she said sighing. 'His wife was in a terrible state, I would have been back earlier but...'

He sighed. 'It's okay, I know how these things can go.'

'Emma back?'

'A couple of hours ago. She caught me having a nightmare. Woke me up thankfully.'

'Are you okay now?'

'Now that you're home, yes. It was a year ago today.'

'I know how could I ever forget.'

'Yeah, sorry,' he turned and smiled at her. 'Have you been thinking about it today?'

'Hard not to. I know we said we'd spend the day together.'

He shook his head as he answered her. 'Wasn't your fault, you were on call and everyone seemed to get sick.' He stopped and let out a long drawn sigh.

'Come on,' she said, moving to the edge of the sofa. 'Let's go to bed.' And she put her hand out to him once she had stood up.

'You think you can pull me up?' he asked with a humourous twitch to the corner of his mouth which developed into a smile. The first smile she had seen that night.

'Maybe I am being too ambitious,' she said returning his smile. 'If you are not interested I'll go to bed alone, you can sleep where you are as you find it so comfy.'

He waited until she had turned away limping slightly. 'You okay?' he asked standing and catching her up.

'Sciatica,' she replied as way of explanation.

'Why didn't you say?' He added, his facial expression empathising with her pain.

'You didn't ask. It's late, you know my leg gets painful if I've had a long day,' she said trying to brush it off.

They looked at each other for a long moment each thinking individually about where they had been a year previously and that a bit of sciatica was nothing in comparison. Before he turned walked up the stairs and he paused, switched off the lights, then followed her. She had already slid into bed by the time he arrived in the room and he shed his clothes and slipped into bed beside her.

'Come here,' he suggested and she snuggled into him.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence she said wistfully. 'Now it's gone two am, it's not the anniversary anymore.'

'No, but the next day was still a bad day, a very bad day, not that you were aware of it in your oblivious state, or the day after, for that matter.'

'I don't think we are supposed to forget, just to find a way to carry on. I know that all the 'if only's' in the world won't change what happened and I have gone through it in my mind over and over hundreds of times. We got our day eventually though, didn't we?'

'We did and you're right. What's made you Miss Positive all of a sudden Alex Deneley?'

'I don't know, it's been a year Tom. Time to move on,' she shrugged and tuned in his arms initiating a kiss which he eagerly responded to.

The end

Authors Note. I cant remember if the nanny who replaced Leanne was actually referred to by name so I invented one. I also wrote this 6 years ago, and while I was tempted to rewrite it as I can see it does need some improvement, I have chosen to post as it as I first wrote it.


End file.
